My baby is 10 weeks old; No I'm not going back to work yet!
Maternity Leave is how long?
For full-time workers, Maternity leave can last between 9-12 months. But I've already been asked countless times when I'm planning on going back to work. Its struck me that I can't be the only new mum thats being asked this question, and I'm wondering if I'm the only one who's feeling the pressure and I can't help but feel a little offended too?! Am I wrong? Am I supposed to be planning my return to work already?!
Lochlan is 10 weeks old; thats 2 and a half months; thats not even a quarter of a year, let alone the 12 months maternity leave that most people take!
Truth be known, I have absolutely no intention of leaving my baby yet, the thought wouldn't have even crossed my mind yet were it not for the constant prompts. Perhaps I should be flattered?! Maybe its that people see me as the type of person that carries on through everything - not letting anything stand in her way. But in reality, I'm finding this 'well meaning' question quite offensive; its almost like an implication that as I've had my baby now, 'the honeymoons over; get your ass back to work'. Am I lazy?
I think its really important for a baby to have its parents, particularly their mummy, around as much as possible, particularly at the beginning, its something I've always been a strong believer of. Its an important part of emotional development and besides that, whats the point of making the life-long commitment of parenthood only to palm the baby off to daycare or a family member as soon as you can. To each their own, but to me, that doesn't make sense.
The cost of working
And while we're on the subject of daycare, I really don't see the point in going back to work 'for the sake of it' if it then means that I'm only just earning enough to cover the amount of childcare itself, but not spending the time with my baby myself! If you're working specifically to cover the cost of childcare, then I'd much rather just stay at home and be there for Lochlan myself. There are so many milestones yet to achieve, he's only just smiled for the first time and theres so much more to come; sitting up, pulling himself up, crawling, walking. I don't want to miss any of that because society and social pressures state I should get back to work, while meanwhile a 'stranger' gets to experience all the momentous occasions of his life that are rightfully mine, and then what will I have to show for it? Money in the bank? Not even that because it will have all gone on childcare fees!
All about respect
Don't get me wrong, I can totally see the social advantages for a little one going to daycare, they'll make little friends and learn to interact with them, building social skills, but I also believe they can do this at home with mum, through playdates and mummy/baby classes.
I also totally respect that for some mums, the 'career women' of the world, going back to work is a priority and a necessity. I would never say that these mums are wrong or bad mums, we each have our ways of doing things, and this is how I feel about my role as a mother and how I fit into my son's life. I want to be his number one in these first few years, and I want him to know he can always count on me to be there. Is this spoiling him? Am I encouraging him to be a 'mummy's boy' and lack independence? Absolutely not. He'll still be his own person, and I'll always encourage him to be confident and find his own way, but surely its a lovely thing to know that he can venture forward into the world knowing I'll be there if he needs me.
So when am I going back to work?
Being a mum is the best job in the world, and I've no intention of handing my resignation in.
